Time to look at my hang ups.

I don't know if anyone else feels like this ... but do you still "see yourself fat" or criticise everything you  see in the mirror. I do.. I am still very hard on myself possibly even more now than when I was at my biggest. I hate my stomach with passion, the fat and the saggy bits make me mad at myself for allowing myself to get there. In a way I guess that stops me from allowing myself to ever go back there and get that big ever ever again. But I still dislike to nearly hate some parts of myself, like my "good bye" arms I wouldn't wear singlets because I was sure ( in my head) people were going "oh look at her arms" but honestly do people really have the time to care about some strangers arms.. NO.. So today I am wearing a singlet. I am allowing myself not to roast to death and be cool and not give a shit, well trying not to give a shit.

Today I a planning dinner, if I want healthy meals I need to plan them and possibly just cook all the time.. works for me.. or I just make my own dinners or have salad etc and I am lucky no one ever minds etc if I say "no thanks" to dinner.

Interesting how people re-act to the pantry, I have posted the photos on my group page on facebook as well. Yeah thats in my face just lucky "W" is good when it comes to me going, can you get me this or that and he always does, knowing I can eat myself silly if not in the right frame of mind to fight the pantry and its overwhelming junk content.

Right off now to decide on dinner.. be back later on .

11 exercise points from a body attack class all ready earned today.
93.2 kgs this morning as well.

Ok for Dinner we are having Weight watchers Roast vegetable frittata 6 pro-points a serve, with a salad and some ham on the side.  8 pro-points total :D
Yumm !!!!! can not wait to eat it.. Looking forward to it. Leave me with 7 points for pudding and or supper type food.


Oh my the frittata was amazing and very filling worth the pp value and I will be creating these for lunches for next year I think, also the pan we brought ma for Xmas was perfect for making it ( happens to be the brand of pots and pans I want) which is brilliant.

I still have 7 pp left ..... Now to attempt not to eat them on shit choices.
I am going to try and take a pitot a day took add to my blog, in the mean time you can see some of my snapseed creations. I love playing with the camera and apps on my phone and iPad. Also love that I can blog from anywhere makes keeping one self busy very easy at the moment.

We are off to dunedin in 4 days to visit my family, looking forward to that but sadly it's hard as my grandparents get older I think bout the fact that this might be my last visit to share with them. So I spend extra time with them. We are back in dunedin in march to see my dad, have to wonder if the boy might ask my dad for his permission to marry me then. We have been discussing a particular ring and things of recent but well who really knows with men these days. I really would like to be engaged its a nice commitment to make to one another and shows everyone we have purpose and intent to get married at some point. Also makes us a "family" in our own right and well makes me a firm part of his family. I love him he is the person I want to grow old with, it's that simple. Funny how easy those things can be.

Day end:  33/33 points 

Lots of water and 

11 exercise points earned

I feel rather good about today and going in to tomorrow, I will try and get in a run ( gym shuts early and we have a meeting and people coming early) but will try get my run in before we go to the house meeting. 

I will eat well until the point of the evening strarted and then I am going to drink my low calorie wine and eat a few nibbles and enjoy new years eve AND all going well I will run or walk or swim on Tuesday 1 / 1 / 2013 to burn off the new years eve splurge. 

take care all 

me